Ever been Out of Control? (it’s OK)

Sometimes it’s a good thing.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand

Proverbs 19:21


Out of Control. “No longer possible to manage”

Uncontrollable. “Wild, Unruly, Defiant”

These concepts have so many bad understandings. If someone is out of control in business or uncontrollable in regards to their recreation it is definitely not a good situation.

Control is an interesting term. It can mean being totally in charge. It can mean having sway behind the scenes. Control usually has a connotation of being direct, as in mastery or dominance. Influence can be somewhat like control, but generally the understanding is different. Leadership is in the same genre of words, but is not so unyielding.

So does that mean that being “Out of Control” is always bad?


I had the chance to spend this past week with TeenPact Leadership Schools staffing the Kentucky state class. There were a number of things that were out of my control. While it first seemed that I needed to work my way back into a position of being in control I came to realize that my God IS in control and that His plans are much higher than my plans.

I have a number of stories that I’d love to share about how things were out of my direct control this past week, I’d like to tell you personally instead of on the blog though. So come ask! But what I will say is I realized it wasn’t my place to decide how the spiritual ministry was going to go. It also became apparent that even when the unexpected happens, things can turn out better than I thought possible. New relationships can form and be strengthened so quickly.

God was in control.

One of the phenomenal young men that I had a chance to staff with this past week was Austin Clapper. He and I were talking on Thursday night about how God gives us words to say. Austin said that while he doesn’t always think that he has the most eloquent conversation (I can relate, growing up on the farm) he knows that God provides those opportunities that we are most suited to fulfill. He lived Ephesians 2:20 this week, seeking out those good works that God had prepared in advance for him to do. Austin became a great friend of mine this week because neither of us were in control of the program.2014-04-04 17.42.45

This doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel at multiple times that I would rather have been in control.

  • I wanted to be in control of appliances that didn’t work correctly.
  • I wanted to be in control of the health of all our team members.
  • I wanted to be in control of what I gained from the week.
  • I wanted to be in control of the opportunities that I was given.

But looking back, I realize that while not everything went perfectly, not everyone stayed 100% healthy, not all my questions were answered, and most importantly I did not expect the opportunities that I was given…. that God’s plan was far, far better.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!

Ephesians 3:20-21

My question for you is this:

Are you holding onto control when God could do better?

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A Sincere Smile

They're Free

I’ve been reading the classic book, How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie recently. The second way to make other people like you according to this book is to simply smile. Out of the six ways to make others like you, this is the easiest one to start with. You don’t need any special training, you don’t even need any background or experience.

Now think for a few seconds about a smile. The Merriam-Webster Dicionary defines a smile as:

to show or express (something, such as approval, encouragement, etc.) by a smile


The thing about smiling is that it’s universal. The enthusiasm that is generated by a sincere smile is contagious. When you know someone who is constantly smiling, you have a hard time being down about seeing that person.

Imagine coming home after a long day. You’re tired, you’re a little sore, the sky is overcast, and you slip a little bit on the front porch giving you that mini heart attack thinking you’re going to fall. Feeling down yet? You think about going inside and all the things you still have to finish up today, and that the house will probably be cold, and that you have to deal with the rest of the family too… You open the door and step inside. And one thing changes, you see a big yellow lab come barreling around the corner, tail wagging, tongue lolling, that doggy smile on her face. Suddenly your day doesn’t seem so overwhelming anymore.

That’s why a loyal dog is so appealing! They are genuinely excited to see you, and you can just imagine the smile that would light up their face if they had all our human characteristics.



Do you understand now why Proverbs 17:22 says

“A joyful heart is good medicine”

So head on out today and give good medicine.

I’d like to leave you with a quick philosophy of a Smile from the book: How to Win Friends and Influence People

The Value of a Smile at Christmas

It costs nothing, but creates much.
It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.
It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None are so rich they can get a long without it, and none are so poor but are richer for its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.
It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature’s best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away.
And if in the last-minute rush of Christmas buying some of our salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you to leave one of yours?
For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give!

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WordPress on Words


Your Words set you apart.

You have a power that goes beyond muscles, or intellect, or even your skills. The words that we say can build up, tear apart, enable others or hold someone back.

Words come at us in all different styles. Writing, speaking, movies, music, school, all these things are based in different ways on words. Those of us that have committed to being excellent dare not overlook the pathway we have to another’s mind.

Think for just a second about how clearly you can remember that stinging insult from years ago as a child, from another kid who perhaps was just messing around. Or the words of praise from a teacher or parent that came out of nowhere on a bad day that instantly made you stand straighter and look brighter. Your words are a portal to someone else’s soul.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

Here’s a question to think about, how likely are others to uplift you if you’re complaining and being bummed out? If your fruit is “death” so to speak- do you think that other people will paste a smile on their face and compliment you on what a good influence you are? No.

Zig Ziglar, american author, motivational speaker, and widely considered the greatest salesman of all time came up with the gem,

“You can have everything in life that you want if you just give enough other people what they want.”

Just think about your last week, and I’ll bet you that you can remember every single genuine compliment or bit of sincere praise that you received. Think you can figure out what other people want??

Now don’t go around telling bald guys that they’re having a great hair day. You have to be sincere! And if the other person can tell that you’re trying to get something out of them, your compliment loses a lot of its value.

So try it out, next time you see a friend, a coworker, your sister… find something that you can compliment!

If you’re still thinking too much about this, check out this chart.


I would recommend NOT using the “sexy” ending, your sincere compliment may get you smacked.

Remember, Your words are a portal directly to another’s soul and you have the power to give others what they’re truly looking for. So what are you waiting for? Give honest, sincere appreciation.

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