“I’m angry! Because…. I don’t have anything else to be angry about.”
Interestingly enough, I saw the #merrychristmasstarbucks hashtag and thought nothing of it until I saw people getting worked up about other people getting worked up, read more on that in the ChristianityToday article linked below.. but first a laugh courtesy of my friend Will Payne, re-post from Facebook.
The new Starbucks cups offend me.
You see, the color red was the color of victory to the ancient Romans, and a sign of nobility to the ancient Chinese dynasties of Zhou, Han, Jin, Song and Ming. Not to mention the fact that the Russian and French revolutions were signified by the same color.
Obviously, Starbucks is espousing paganism, Eastern philosophy, mass hysteria, communism, or some combination of the four. They should probably go back to the white cups.
But if we’re being frank, those white cups really got to me too. That green lady they have in their logo…she looks way too much like Medusa to me, and we all know what backwards twits the Ancient Greeks were. Plus, the color green has always signified evil and lust…
Starbucks is definitely pushing an agenda here. They should take that evil green sea-fiend off their cups. The cups should just be plain white.
But frankly, that’s really offensive too. You see, those plain white cups have those obnoxious, insulting checkboxes printed on the side. While they’re probably intended to help the barista figure out just how many pumps of espresso you want in your lowfat chai latte with soy, I think they symbolize the prisons that Starbucks wants Christians thrown in. And those boxes should be removed immediately.
But to be honest, those plain white cups would really just symbolize even more confinement. The goodness of coffee really shouldn’t have to be confined–coffee cups are obviously symbolic of the persecutions which modern American Christians suffer at the hands of the Secular Humanist Progressive Liberal Left Wing Communist Socialists Who Rule The Media. The use of coffee cups obviously show that Starbucks supports this agenda.
Starbucks should probably just pour your low fat chai latte with soy and espresso into your hands–that’s the most freeing thing to do. But then of course they’d get sued when the coffee burned someone. They should probably just stop making coffee.
As you may be confused by all the people getting worked up over apparently nothing. Please remember to love people, and not outrage. For more on this topic, check out this great article from Christianity Today by Ed Stetzer
Photo via Starbucks Facebook
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